I was having a fairly good day today I even made an effort to ensure that I posted extra free Ebooks for the blog. But in the process of doing this my day changed very suddenly.
I am copying and pasting the book description on my post below the image of the book in my Free Ebook post when a family member walked past me and asked if I was plagiarizing another persons book review and posting it on my site as mine.
Dumbfounded I was taken aback by the question and the fact that she was looking at me with a shocked expression on her face.
I explained that I was making my regular post for Free Ebooks that I do on here, I explained my process and that I would copy and paste the book description below the image of the free book I listed (It was me copying the description of the book she saw me adding onto my blog page that made her think it obviously.) But regardless of my explanation she still had a look on her face like she didn't believe what I was telling her.
I've published poetry and stories, and have been writing book reviews for years.
While no one including her has shown me much support when it comes to writing no one has ever questioned me like that. I guess it never occurred to me that anyone in my family would think something like that about me.
This bothered me. I asked her what would make her think I would need to copy another persons review or why she thought I'd do that in the first place. She replied 'I dunno, it was just a question.'
That actually hurt and what's more is that she didn't understand why I began to get so upset over the "simple question" or her dismissal of it.
I explained that I was upset after she asked why I seemed so bothered by it because she thought I would actually do something like that. Then she got defensive that I was upset over her asking but still couldn't understand why I was upset over the question.
The fact that someone that knows me, knows the time I put into reviewing and the fact that I have never once in my life done something like that floored me.
I asked if she thought so little of me and she just shrugged it off like it didn't mean anything.
So not only was I upset by her question I was more upset by the fact that she thought so little of my character that she would even think that or ask me that and upset me more by not understanding why her shrugging it off or acting as if it wasn't a big deal would upset me.
I'm offended, hurt, disappointed and just plain confused that this issue would ever come into question.
I know I should probably let it go, I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal, I know I shouldn't let it bother me but some people's opinions matter to me.
Having people closest to you not believe in you or believe something so low of you hits the ouch place in my heart. I had plans to post a lot of great stuff on here tonight but all I keep feeling is that stab of ouchness.
So much for enjoying the rest of my evening.